What does Evan Longoria have to do to avoid Eva?

1
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There’s no doubt that one baseball player’s cards are hotter than anyone else’s right now — but no matter what Tampa Bay 3B Evan Longoria does, somebody somewhere will trot out a tale of the tape comparing him to ABC Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria.

Who am I to disappoint?

vs.
Burst onto the scene in MLB with the Tampa Bay Rays in April, finishing his first season with an appearance in the World Series in October 2008. One-line
career
summary
Burst onto the scene as a member of ABC’s hit series Desperate Housewives in October 2004.
The No. 3 overall draft pick in 2006 is a former member of the Class AA Montgomery Biscuits Also on sports resume Married to San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker
“Longo” and the dude who already has hit a boatload of home runs this postseason Also known as … “Gabrielle” and Eva Longoria Parker
A few — but not the one that matters — his 2006 Bowman Chrome autograph (above) Cards
in my
collection?
None. How can she not yet have a trading card? I mean, come on she only attends 82,000 Spurs games a year where 3.8 million photographs are taken every time she moves — or thinks about — moving
1,227 items
currently for sale
eBay stat 325 items
currently for sale
A perfect BGS 10 professionally graded copy of his rookie card for $1,500 eBay highlight A shirt and tank top Longoria reportedly wore on MTV’s TRL for $300 (Blurry authentication photograph included.)
$200 and up right now on eBay Rookie
card is worth?
What rookie card?
He played for the Class AAA Durham Bulls, which Costner made famous when he played Crash Davis in “Bull Durham.” Kevin Costner
ties?
According to The Oracle of Bacon, Kevin Bacon starred with Kevin Costner in JFK. Bacon starred with Jim Cody Williams in Rails & Ties (2007), who starred in Lower Learning (2008) with Longoria. (Don’t worry, I never heard of those films, either.)
$1,850 for an Orange Refractor autograph from 2006 Bowman in BGS 9.5 grade. Rookie
card last sold for
Again … what rookie card? (Maybe Donruss can get on this for Americana III?)
He’s pretty much a babyface, so I’d say low. Intimidation factor She’s stands 5-2 — so you really don’t wanna mess with her.
He sent her a Rays T-shirt. Wikipedia (and the Hartford Courant) says … She sent him a bottle of champagne.
We’re willing to bet there’s a (cursed?) cover appearance in his future. Sports Illustrated ties? Just stop what you’re doing and read this.
He’ll be all over FOX in the coming weeks. TV ties
Um, other than the obvious ABC gig, it depends whether there’s a Spurs game on.
Uh… Eva Longoria? Not to be confused with … Uh… Evan Longoria?
Well, if we had to bet, the American League Rookie of the Year for starters … Awards Um … just a few.
A World Series title. (Maybe.) What it will take to end these comparisons?
All male sports writers and bloggers vanish from the face of the earth? (Nah, that wouldn’t do it, either.)

Chris Olds has collected sports cards and memorabilia since 1987. Before coming to Beckett Media, he wrote about the hobby for the Orlando Sentinel on his blog, SportsStuff, and for the San Antonio Express-News and The Tuscaloosa (Ala.) News. Do you have a comment, question or idea? Send e-mail to him at colds@beckett.com.

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