10-08-2020, 02:42 PM
So after I went to the bank this morning I walked into one of my local Targets and finally observed for myself the Doosh Bag Network in action.
There were about a dozen young, able-bodied men (and one woman) standing in line at the card aisle, lamenting how they last heard the card lady was an hour away, did she do this store yet, etc. etc.
Wow. What a pathetic collection of losers.
One old guy (who, in my opinion, was the only one old enough not to work anymore) was talking about how he waited six hours in another store recently.
Six hours? I think the only thing I’ve ever waited six hours for was, I don’t know, a family member in surgery or giving birth?
There were three or four teenagers in line as well, and I couldn’t help but think about how there are signs plastered all over the front door of Target saying “now hiring, $15 per hour” … but, psssshhh, they wouldn’t be raised right to develop a work ethic and actually go get one of those jobs, would they?
Anyway, the sad part is I have been going to this particular Target for more than 15 years and have never once seen any of those people in the card aisle.
You’d think I would have crossed paths with at least one of them given all the times of day and different days I’ve gone there over the years, right?
Nope, they’re just a traveling network of doosh bags.
Truly, truly sad.
I mean, what do they even talk about when they’re standing in line?
Potential topics:
- Ways to be bigger doosh bags
- Is there a doosh bag market for diapers and baby formula?
- Latest fashion trends in doosh baggery
- Legendary doosh bags
- On this date in doosh bag history
The funny thing was I went and stood directly in front of the line for a good 10 minutes, just staring at the empty shelves, seeing if anyone would say anything to me.
Nope, not one.
So my next goal is to time it just right when they are in line and the card lady first gets there, and I just go to the front and grab what I want.
The looks on the doosh bags’ faces will be priceless.
There were about a dozen young, able-bodied men (and one woman) standing in line at the card aisle, lamenting how they last heard the card lady was an hour away, did she do this store yet, etc. etc.
Wow. What a pathetic collection of losers.
One old guy (who, in my opinion, was the only one old enough not to work anymore) was talking about how he waited six hours in another store recently.
Six hours? I think the only thing I’ve ever waited six hours for was, I don’t know, a family member in surgery or giving birth?
There were three or four teenagers in line as well, and I couldn’t help but think about how there are signs plastered all over the front door of Target saying “now hiring, $15 per hour” … but, psssshhh, they wouldn’t be raised right to develop a work ethic and actually go get one of those jobs, would they?
Anyway, the sad part is I have been going to this particular Target for more than 15 years and have never once seen any of those people in the card aisle.
You’d think I would have crossed paths with at least one of them given all the times of day and different days I’ve gone there over the years, right?
Nope, they’re just a traveling network of doosh bags.
Truly, truly sad.
I mean, what do they even talk about when they’re standing in line?
Potential topics:
- Ways to be bigger doosh bags
- Is there a doosh bag market for diapers and baby formula?
- Latest fashion trends in doosh baggery
- Legendary doosh bags
- On this date in doosh bag history
The funny thing was I went and stood directly in front of the line for a good 10 minutes, just staring at the empty shelves, seeing if anyone would say anything to me.
Nope, not one.
So my next goal is to time it just right when they are in line and the card lady first gets there, and I just go to the front and grab what I want.
The looks on the doosh bags’ faces will be priceless.